Further down the the road toward TEDxWilmingtonWomen 2018

I’ve heard that it’s common for people to rework their talks in the weeks, and even days, leading up to their event. However, I didn’t think it would happen to me. After all, I’ve been telling my story to different audiences for a few years.  That being said, you can imagine my surprise and dismay as I watched the recording of my first full-length talk and thought to myself, “Oh no. I can’t use this. It’s too sad. Too heavy. And it’s all about me. Not enough about the powerfully transformative process I’m trying to share.” < insert deep sigh >

This was where the structure and support of the TEDxWilimington team came into play. Thankfully, they have a precise assignment list set up that helped make sure I had recorded my first version of the talk early enough that once I realized it had to be scrapped, I had enough time to rework it. So that left me wondering how to do it. I knew the content needed to remain the same, since the core of my message is still the core, “Practice Somatic Experiencing to recover from trauma” but the story aspect needed to be different and so did the timeline I shared it in.

As a trainer in communication, I have seen over and over that what we have in our heads can be difficult to convey to a group.  So I sought input from my “tribe”. They are a group of people that have been a part of my healing and professional journey, especially during this last five years, and they have borne witness to how I have transformed from a person that physically couldn’t make my bed or vacuum, let alone get through a day without tears, to become a person that they can count on when the stuff of their own lives piles up and they need an anchor or a listening ear, who is back to rock climbing and acro yoga in my spare time. (“Spare time” is this cute phrase I use to talk about the time that I am not working, preparing for TEDxWilmingtonWomen, or continuing my healing journey. It seems to be missing lately, except for my 1-day jaunt into the Shawangunk mountains for a day of climbing.)

Feedback from my tribe confirmed my belief that the first version was informational, and professional, but heavy. Some suggested a joke to lighten things up, but I was hesitant, due to my topic. But that person planted a seed. Another person reminded me that the process had elements that I use on a daily basis, but hadn’t made it into the 10 minute time slot. She made me ask myself what HAD to be in, and what might have to go, to make it possible to add it in.

In the week I submitted the video,  life presented me with an opportunity to see my full transformation when I needed to visit an ER for an unrelated issue. I was seriously triggered by the visit, since it looked, smelled, and felt like the place that had held so much pain and fear for me from years ago. But this time, as soon as I realized my brain was going into “collapse”, a symptom of trauma that causes the brain to freeze, often resulting in vision changes, difficulty breathing, withdrawal from human connection, and in severe situations even losing the ability to speak, I knew what to do. I used the process to transform the experience and within a few minutes I was breathing calmly and actually giggled, which is a good sign the process is working.

The final piece of help I needed to rework my talk came from a TED talk by Nancy Duarte titled “The Secret Structure of Great Talks”. My final version of the talk will follow the algorithm that she identified was used by Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., and even President Abraham Lincoln in the Gettysburg Address. She broke it down, explained what it looks like, and now I have put in the other elements that I am sharing.

And I even found the joke that I can use to set the tone of the talk! So my tribe’s input helped me, as did the structure provided by TEDxWilmington, and TED fellows like Nancy Duarte.

Can’t wait to see you in Wilmington DE on November 30th. There is so much to be thankful for in the meantime.

Written November 25, 2018